It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you.

Last night the Taliban offered to release eight Westerners if the U.S. promised not to attack. The State Department declined but thanked the Taliban for the offer, saying it really felt good to laugh again.

[...] things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me.

Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: "No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat."

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

It's harder to make something good when you can't curse all the time.

Even when I was at 'SNL,' I didn't do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them - I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show - but I didn't have any experience.