In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing.

It's not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying.

I believe in process. I believe that having a really difficult process is more valuable than a good outcome.

I was a very confident little kid.

Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.

You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: "No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway."