For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, 'Okay, that happened, and I did not die.' You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

Now let me be clear; millions of women around the world nurse their children beautifully for years without giving anybody else a hard time about it. Teat Nazis are a solely western upper-middle-class phenomenon occurring when highly ambitious women experience deprivation from outside modes of achievement.

Most of my work is done before we start shooting, preparation work, so my normal day begins when I start writing, it might even be the night before.

This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares.

Life is improvisation.