Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.

The thing that always fascinated me about improv is that it's basically a happy accident that you think you're initiating.

Al Gore announced Tuesday that he plans to launch a 24-hour cable news network for young adults. Gore claims he's been wanting to do this since he invented cable TV in the 1990s.

Lesson learned? When people say, "You really, really must" do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, "You really, really must deliver the baby during labor." When it's true, it doesn't need to be said.

It doesn't matter if it's a school play or a dumb TV show. It's your work. You should care about it so much that people get annoyed with you.

You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.