Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It only makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.

Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.

As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. “No, we can’t do that.” “No, that’s not in the budget.” “No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar.” What kind of way is that to live?

I want to spend time with Oprah and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.

It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is dead.

I feel like I represent normalcy in some way.