Everyone said to me growing up, "You're like an American. You have to go to America. That's your spiritual home."

I don't envy young Brits crossing the Atlantic to make their fortunes today.

My life's ambition is to play a James Bond villain. I have the cat and the eye-patch, so I'm just waiting for the call. For some reason, though, the phone hasn't rung.

Top Chef is a very smooth-running machine. All the people working there are incredibly professional and absolutely at the top of their game.

I've become a professional failure - in order to pay the mortgage I have to remain unemployed. Luckily, a disaster always seems to befall me at exactly the right moment.

There's no reason why you can't deliver a grammar-school curriculum to an all-ability intake.

I think that magazines like Vanity Fair are still operating under the old rules, and that if you come to work for a magazine like Vanity Fair, even today, you're certainly expected to treat people like Peggy Siegal very deferentially.