There's no reason why you can't deliver a grammar-school curriculum to an all-ability intake.

Everyone said to me growing up, "You're like an American. You have to go to America. That's your spiritual home."

In Britain, by contrast, we still think that class plays a part in determining a person's life chances, so we're less inclined to celebrate success and less inclined to condemn failure. The upshot is that it's much easier to be a failure in Britain than it is in America.

I think I've been wishing for celebrity for so long that I've got used to being someone who's petitioning the establishment for acceptance... my whole schtick, my whole identity, is so wrapped up in being a petitioner that I don't really know how to react now that petition has been granted.

Oddly, I do have a problem with authority. I find it very difficult to knuckle down and follow rules. Which are the classic symptoms of someone who has a troubled relationship with their father. And yet, I never had a problem with my father.

I wouldn't describe myself as a master of anything.

The moment I'm perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my career will go down the pan.