The accusation 'unprofessional' means 'You did not behave like a machine today.

By taking out a loan, I am committing myself to years of interest repayments, and therefore to years of wage slavery. And the UK has been borrowing like crazy since 1694, when the Bank of England was invented. This means that we are locked into high taxation to pay for 300 years of wars and other costly and generally disastrous state enterprises.

When stuck years ago in a job I hated, my only friend was the public bench. As the tedious mornings dragged on, how I would long for the lunch hour, when I would be able to escape the torture of the office and stroll over to the churchyard and into the comforting wooden embrace of one of its benches.

One aspect of fast London life I have never understood, for example, is the custom of the gym. Why do people go to gyms?

Pain will never leave us. Instead of putting energy into destroying pain, we need to put energy into creating pleasure.

Computers tend to separate us from each other - Mum's on the laptop, Dad's on the iPad, teenagers are on Facebook, toddlers are on the DS, and so on.

Laziness works. And the simple way to incorporate its health benefits into your life is simply to take a nap.