My first big gig was an opening show for Frank Zappa, and I think that was difficult.

Time is just memory Mixed in with Desire.

All medical procedures require two hands, so in a sense it's like when you play an instrument. That's what they call things that they use in their work: They call them instruments. A lot of people start out majoring in medicine and drop it and change their major to music.

The trick is to have a career and have a family. It's like having two dogs that hate each other and you have to take them for a walk every night.

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.

I guess I've always lived upside down when I want things I can't have. My wife actually thinks I have a syndrome called Reality Distortion Field. It's kind of like drugs, only you can't come back from it. Reality Distortion is almost a permanent condition. Things come in and they go out: Presto, chango! To a certain extent, I did that with myself. As a kid, I did want to be an old-timer, since they were the ones with the big stories and the cool clothes. I wanted to go there. Now, I guess I want to bring that with me and go back in time.

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.