I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

I admit that I ain't no angel, I admit that I ain't no saint - I'm selfish and I'm cruel and I'm blind. If I exorcise my devils, well my angels may leave too. When they leave they're so hard to find.

Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well.

And the earth died screaming, while I lay dreaming.

I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch

Mostly I straddle reality and the imagination. My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane.

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.