Listen, if you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

There are three types of baseball players: Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happens.

Say 'Dodgers' and people know you're talking about baseball. Say 'Braves' and they ask, 'What reservation?' Say 'Reds' and they think of communism. Say 'Padres' and they look around for a priest.

When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so depressed, I eat a lot. When we're rained out, I'm so disappointed I eat a lot.

I've been Catholic all my life, and there's one thing I've never understood. Why didn't the Corinthians write back?

I've got a portrait in the Smithsonian. Who ever thought that would happen?

Everywhere I go, I feel strange.