I like Vegas for its spontaneity.

They gave me away as a prize once - a Win Tony Curtis For A Weekend competition. The woman who won was disappointed. She'd hoped for second prize - a new stove.

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.

Marilyn Monro wasn't the brightest person in the world - that didn't make a difference one way or the other - but she was giving and kind. And that's what got her in trouble. She was so giving and kind to all of these people she met that she found herself doing these things that she didn't want to do.

But my longevity is due to my good timing.

Joe: We can't just walk out on her without saying goodbye. Jerry: What? Since when? You usually walk out and leave 'em with nothing but a kick in the teeth. Joe: That's when I was a saxophone player. Now I'm a millionaire.

My whole world before I joined the Navy was my neighborhood in the Bronx.