I feel like I'm back visiting an old grandmother. She's crotchety and eccentric, but also elegant, and anyone who doesn't fall in love with her has no imagination.

After a golfer has been out on the circuit for a while he learns how to handle his dating so that it doesn't interfere with his golf. The first rule usually is no woman-chasing after Wednesday.

It isn't the hours that you put in at practice that count. It's the way you spend those minutes.

In choosing a partner, always pick the optimist.

The man who runs from his office to the golf club, gulps a sandwich, belches and races to the first tee has no business howling in anguish when he puts his first two shots in the woods, then tops a 3-iron shot into the pond.

Don't take your bad shots home with you.

The less said about the putter the better. Here is an instrument of torture, designed by Tantalus and forged in the devil's own smithy.