Learn to trust your instincts. Only something dead goes with the tide. Only something living can go against it.

And so we stayed out in the garden of the old house until we couldn't kick a ball, laughing in the gathering twilight, making the most of the good weather and all the days that were left, our little game watched only by next door's cat, and every star in the heavens.

The tattooed nation will live to regret this voluntary disfigurement.

I can't think of a bigger waste of police time than chasing somebody who has said something offensive on Twitter.

If someone does something illegal on Twitter - like incite hatred, or make racist remarks, or threaten to rip someone's intestines out if they insult Justin Bieber - then there has to be some way of censuring them.

Love is what's left when being in love is gone, okay? It's when you care about someone and you hope they're happy, but you're not under any illusions about them. Maybe that kind of love is not exciting and passionate and all those things that fade with time. All those things that you're so keen on. But in the end it's the only kind of love that really matters.

A tattoo doesn't make you look like an individual.