We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.

My fear is that, as soon as I get married and have kids that I'll kind of do what a lot of people do and suddenly start making, 'Now I'm gonna make films for kids.' I really hope I don't do that.

Well I looked in my moms closet and saw what I was getting for Christmas, an ultravibe pleasure 2000.

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.

The Republicans didn't want the government to run your life, because Jesus should. That was really part of their thing: less government, more Jesus. Now it's like, how about more government and Jesus?

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

What we're always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there's no shortage of material.