Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Canadians are so easily wounded.

Everybody knows that only creeps put cameras in the bathroom.

Canada thinks we're married; we don't know it exists. Every time we tell Canada to knock it off, it just feeds the fire.

Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right? Canada spends all of its time thinking about the United States, obsessing over the United States. It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States.

I'll go through all of [12 steps for people who say are traumatized by the election], but a sample: Volunteer to fight Islamaphobia. Join the ACLU. Donate to Planned Parenthood. Take down sexism and misogyny. Sort of all the stations of the cross of liberalism. Sort of all the stations of the cross of liberalism.

So you [Nicholas Kristof] have got this new column out, 12 steps for people who say are traumatized by the [ Donald Trump] election.