Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right? Canada spends all of its time thinking about the United States, obsessing over the United States. It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States.

Bill Clinton is a liar, a perverted kind of a guy anyway, and he is always stroking black folks rather than telling them the truth.

I'm a foot soldier in the war on Christmas. And the war on puppies and sunshine.

Bush's America. I wish we had more time. I didn't even vote for him the second time, and I feel like I got to defend him.

It's hard to be ambitious if you're content, isn't it?

Republicans can't run for office without the support of business.

To politicize a man's tragic death is about as low as you can go, isn't it?