We have the - the longest, friendliest border, you know, for the - for the longest time in the history - in recorded history, really, with Canada. And they get to sit on their moral perch, you know, take the moral high ground, say, oh, United States, shame on you about Iraq. They make us look bad internationally. And it's really not fair.

I can't wait to work for Rick Kaplan. He's a great producer. I would host an infomercial if he would produce it.

But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that. He wasn't, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs?

A lot of people now make a living off of YouTube. It's the world's most popular video site by far, it's a subsidiary by Google. Increasingly, Google seems to be letting politics dictate who is allowed to make money from the platform.

If things do get better in Iraq, I'm saying as someone who thinks the war was a mistake. I'm saying that is cause for us all to have a huge party. It's a big deal if things get better. Because if they don't get better, our country is going to be hurt for generations.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

Dogs are intelligent beings; they are not human beings. The life of a dog - there's no equivalency with the life of a person, and if you are putting a dog in the line of danger to save human life, and they can do the job reasonably well, I mean, seriously, what about dignity and self-respect? I feel like going out to dinner, I think I will have my cocker spaniel host the show tonight.