Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

I try to tell the truth.

Canada thinks we're married; we don't know it exists. Every time we tell Canada to knock it off, it just feeds the fire.

Dogs are intelligent beings; they are not human beings. The life of a dog - there's no equivalency with the life of a person, and if you are putting a dog in the line of danger to save human life, and they can do the job reasonably well, I mean, seriously, what about dignity and self-respect? I feel like going out to dinner, I think I will have my cocker spaniel host the show tonight.

I think Canadians, they may be offended that I pointed out that they're stalking us. But at least we're paying attention.

I'm not for drunk driving - however, the states ought to decide. Different states have different penalties for drunk driving because they're states and they get to do that. If people of one state want to be lighter on drunk drivers, they're wrong. That's their business.

I'll go through all of [12 steps for people who say are traumatized by the election], but a sample: Volunteer to fight Islamaphobia. Join the ACLU. Donate to Planned Parenthood. Take down sexism and misogyny. Sort of all the stations of the cross of liberalism. Sort of all the stations of the cross of liberalism.