Kids should practice autographing baseballs. This is a skill that's often overlooked in Little League.

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

Some days you tame the tiger, and some days the tiger has you for lunch.

Ten million years from now, when then sun burns out and the Earth is just a frozen iceball hurtling through space, nobody's going to care whether or not I got this guy out.

What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste.

I have no trouble with the twelve inches between my elbow and my palm. It's the seven inches between my ears that's bent.