When I come into a game in the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, no one out and a one-run lead ... it takes people off my mind.

What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.

We called Pete Rose and Larry Bowa the soup spoons, because they were always stirring things up. Twenty years later, nothing's changed.

Ten million years from now, when then sun burns out and the Earth is just a frozen iceball hurtling through space, nobody's going to care whether or not I got this guy out.

Kids should practice autographing baseballs. This is a skill that's often overlooked in Little League.

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste.

I have no trouble with the twelve inches between my elbow and my palm. It's the seven inches between my ears that's bent.