My grandfather was a practising Quaker. My father was a nihilist. But nihilism, if you like, is the beginning of faith anyway.

And the yellow sunflower by the brook, in autumn beauty stood.

The Christmas spirit that goes out with the dried-up Christmas tree is just as worthless.

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.

If you must be without one, be without the strategy.

Forgiveness is divine, but never pay pull price for late pizza.

Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself, 'What would Jesus do?' And then I realize, Jesus got crucified, so maybe his decision-making isn't all that great.