Better to have an enemy who slaps you in the face than a friend who stabs you in the back.

It is hard to deal with someone who smiles and pretends to like you to your face and sticks that eight inch blade in your back when you turn around.

The Taj is pinkish in the morning, milky white in the evening and golden when the moon shines.

Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way. They should, in fact, be segregated as they are the cause of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men.

A good friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend laughs in your face and trips you again.

If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer.

Why did the reindeer wear black boots? Because his brown ones were all muddy!