Tradition: sit with husband in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all.

My grandfather was a practising Quaker. My father was a nihilist. But nihilism, if you like, is the beginning of faith anyway.

Two heads are better than one.

To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.

Fake friends are like autumn leaves, they're scattered everywhere.

Why do they call it proctology? Is it because analogy was already taken?

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.