Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back.

Make sure the clothes you buy on Black Friday take into account how fat you got on Thanksgiving.

When it came right down to it, the reindeer would eat you.

True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

'Tis sweet to kiss a girl on Spring's first day, but only half so sweet as 'tis to kiss a girl on her bootyhole.

The Wheels of Justice turn slowly but exceedingly fine.

A real friend's got your back, while the fake ones are sticking knives in it.