Things are seldom what they seem.

No good play is a success; fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.

Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.

When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.

Isn't your life extremely flat,With nothing to grumble at?

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.