I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard
I'm a selective pack rat. There's some things I have no problem getting rid of and others I hold onto dearly.
It's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
I love watching people be totally committed in a very real way to stupid situations. I find it's not so much trying to be funny, it's trying to be real in a messed up context. That's comedy to me.
I'm a panicked karaoke participant because I am always searching for a song in the moment. I don't have my go to song. I will be driving along and I will be like, "That should be my karaoke song!" and then I forget what song it is.