These days, you have to have a gimmick to do the weather. You have to have an act.

The critics - how come you never see any of them on TV?

Never slap a man who chews tobacco.

No libraries, no progress.

In high school, I weighed 175 to 180. I looked like Abraham Lincoln. I was 6-foot-3, biggest thing in the class, but tall, not fat.

Everyone complains about the weather, but nobody ever seems to do anything about it.

When I can, I do 25 minutes of calisthenics every day.