Would you like to hear a nice definition of jealousy? It's the feeling that you get when someone you absolutely detest is having a wonderful time without you.

Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on blind men's eyes, the beginning of the horror passed almost unnoticed; in the shriek of what followed, in fact, was forgotten and perhaps not connected to the horror at all.

As far as God goes, I _am_ a nonbeliever. Still am. But when it comes to a devil---well, that's something else.

What looked like morning was the beginning of endless night

God never talks. But the devil keeps advertising, Father. The devil does a lot of commercials.

Procrastination is what we often call 'resistance.

And the sad truth is that nobody wants me to write comedy. The Exorcist not only ended that career, it expunged all memory of its existence.