I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.

I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.

When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.

I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.

And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.