You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office?" All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)

The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'

If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.

Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.