While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.

Ninety percent of life is just showing up.

Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife