It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it

Throughout history in the theater and film people do like sarcastic characters, and they do like curmudgeons - if they're amusing, they do like them despite the fact that they're vitriolic, particularly if they're for the right thing. If you can see that the person is a decent person and is for the right thing, and is not just a nasty person with base motives, but someone who is a decent human but expresses himself.

Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.

Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.

What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It proceeds from your unconscious. So it's the same surprise to you when it emerges as it is to the audience when the comic says it. I don't think of the joke and then say it. I say it and then realize what I've said. And I laugh at it, because I'm hearing it for the first time myself.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I cannot say for certain that God does not exist; I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.