Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.

I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.

And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.

We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.

I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.

I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.

Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.