Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.

If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.

My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?

One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.