Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.

I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.

Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.