A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.

Do you know what it's like to be the kind of girl that boys never talk to and then suddenly, a boy talks to you?

Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican.

You can't create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings.

Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

Everybody sort of questioned why we get married on New Year's Day, and of course, the avid sports fans wouldn't come, because they had to watch the Rose Bowl or whatever that is on that day.

Being myself didn't work. Being someone else didn't work. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends.