I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a billion people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.

I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for creativity. I mean, where do you even FIND a Jewish hard-line conservative Republican pot-smoker? Sounds like an Oprah Winfrey guest.