The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a billion people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus by a series of gruesome body piercings, and engage in their bizarre practices of ritualized blood-drinking and cannibalism without being assaulted by graphic images of attractive young women with bare breasts.