I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt-ridden misery. At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hope of getting your money back at the end.