America is never great. America is great in what it can be, which is the American dream.

The only place I want to travel to is the United States Of America from 2008 to 2016. Anywhere else is a horribly dangerous time for women and minorities.

People, when they come up to me, are like, "Did we go to high school together? Or did I make out with you at sleepaway camp?" And oftentimes, yes, that is the answer, because I went to a giant high school and made out with everybody.

At around 19 I realized that I really didn't have any skills other than making people laugh, so I should probably pursue it full-time.

You ever spent eight hours acting in water? It's a lot easier to get in and out of a bath. Hot tubs are bad news for actors, man.

For me, why would a Jew want to go anywhere in history ever? I'm only going to have to run.

Anytime I audition for something, it's always a question of whether or not the people I'm auditioning for understand I'm an improviser and I like to do that, and if they like that or if they just want someone who's going to do what's written.