You write to find out what you believe.

The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd. We are at our most stupid in our self-hatred.

People change, but there really are limits. One thing you discover in psychoanalytic treatment is the limits of what you can change about yourself or your life. We are children for a very long time.

Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.

Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.

There is nothing more terrorizing than the possibility that nothing is hidden. There is nothing more scandalous than a happy marriage

Monogamy is a way of getting the versions of ourselves down to the minimum.