I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.

We only have one agenda, which is to make 'em laugh their pants off. Unless they are girls, of course, when it is to make them laugh their bras off so we can get a quick look.

We had so much fun in Ghana and they are really lovely people.

You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy.

I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

Most modern comedy is crap.