I love it when I come across a word I don't know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren't smart enough to come along with me.

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.

I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.