I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up, and I think that's impossible for anyone.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

When I was young I thought, 'Yeah, people don't see, they're not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am'. And the guys that mentored me were like, 'You just have to keep getting up'. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.

But I love stand-up, and it's where I came from creatively, so it's something I never want to walk away from.

I'm sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.

You can only really learn from failure ... To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.