I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way. I don't want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I'd still have plenty of other things to do.

I liked comedy, but didn't know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.

I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.