The institutions that we've built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don't apply to the private sector. The Fourth Amendment doesn't apply to corporations. The Freedom of Information Act doesn't apply to Silicon Valley. And you can't impeach Google if it breaks its 'Don't be evil' campaign pledge.

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus. I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it's a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us. And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.

I hope you realize, in a democracy, laughter is assent.

Service dogs raise their masters' sense of well-being.