I'm always alone. Sad face emoticon.

Well, once I fried tofu and put Sriracha on it. After that I was so depressed I swore off preparing food for myself altogether.

We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat - these ladies are all business - she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.' 'I'm not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong? If you want to be hip to the lingo, they're not using the word dong up in the States.

Im so sick of people treating Latinos like some homogenous group that all feel the same way about everything.

I'm always alone. Sad face emoticon.

My primary responsibility is to be funny.

I bullshit on the phone all day with a variety of people discussing various projects, and occasionally write jokes.