Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.

When I started out, I didn't feel like I was really accepted in the music or comedy communities, and I was somewhere on the edge, but now I feel like I'm accepted in both, which is extremely gratifying.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

I'm watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.