If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

I'll be mellow when I'm dead.

Not any specific one, but I was a huge fan of Frank Jacobs, I guess he wrote the plurality of the song parodies for MAD, Sam Hart, a few others, but that was also where I was first exposed to the art form of song parodies.

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It's always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily - which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters because you're supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go "Oh, it's 'Weird Al.'"